absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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