a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
