The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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