In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
