I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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