I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
