Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
