Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
