i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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