how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize