she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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