Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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