They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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