Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
