is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
