Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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