Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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