When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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