First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
