Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
