3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize