Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
