I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize