just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
