like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
