We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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