Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
