I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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