Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
