I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
