I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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