And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
