i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
