We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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