Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
