More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Randomize