I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
