worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
