I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
