Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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