Just fell off a train. Bad.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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