I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Of course I have a pirate flag
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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