Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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