I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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