New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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