Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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