Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
