So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
