dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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