If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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