Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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