Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
