Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
