Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
