Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
