Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize