I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
