This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
