Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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