chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
