I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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